Sitting in our flat wondering why I havent been blogging. I had a good excuse. A pity party over a broken digital camera. Being unable to lace my blog with images seemed like a good basis for self-indulgent pity. )I'm sorry but stealing my husband's images just didn't do it) But I knew that wasn't really it.
Last night Mark brought Hannah home after she spent the afternoon with his girls. He fiddled with our ipod a bit and found Dixie Chicks "Landslide".
"This song makes me cry."
I start talking about other songs from Austin artists.
The type of responses that you bring in when you don't really care about the other person and it is all about conversation and not about relationship.
Debbie, you selfish, pathetic, superficial slug. What has happened. I have been gliding on the surface of real conversation. Too lazy to dip my fingers into real conversation and involvement in what really matters in mine and others lives. Those that I really care about.
I hate this in others. And here I am. I mean, it is a fine place to visit but I don't want to live there.
I been feeling the void, the emptyness and the loneliness. Now that I have figured out the problem is with me maybe I can do something about it.
This is why I havent been blogging. Because I have been too lazy to interact with people and ideas to have anything reasonable to blog.
God, forgive me for my laziness.
In the meantime I will just sit still for a bit cry with Dixie Chicks.