mumjones

Busy Days with Friends

Had very busy time this last week. As seems to be the trend in living up here. Andrew went away and came back with 5 friends (Reinhold, Mark, Si, Andreas and Christine). All very busy. To add to the chaos we had an unexpected houseguest arrive less than 24 hours before Andrew left town and stayed for most of the time Andrew was gone (communication went out the window on that one).

For the most part a great time with friends, feasting and enjoying life. It was great hosting alongside Miriam, perhaps a glimpse of time together in the future.Of course with all these strategic thinking men in the house there was significant compu-bonding and strategy time as well. So, instead of talking to all of you was spending time with those in the house.

Andrew leaves again on Wednesday for a few days but not before Shannon arrives to stay while Andrew is gone. I love this stuff.

Elizabeth's Rite of Passage

For Elizabeth much of this last year has been preparation for her "rite of passage into adulthood". It is our family tradition to make a space for this.

Elizabeth said she wanted to walk the "Camino de Santiago", all of it, almost the entire top of Spain, 6 full weeks of walking."Mom, if I can do the camino when I am 12 then my whole life I will know that I can do anything." In my time of parental perplexing, "I want her to do this, she shouldn't go with me or Andrew if this is about her becoming an adult, she shouldn't go alone." Cindy offered to take her. How perfect is that. I could not think of an adult I would trust more than Cindy, Elizabeth really looks up to her and if Elizabeth would use Cindy as an example of an adult she would want to be like I couldn't be happier. Cindy's willingness to take her has blessed me more than I could ever express to her in mere words.

But wait, God has decided to bless even more.Shannon has written some amazing things on her blog that really touch my desire.
She writes, "When I was thinking about this the other day I saw this picture of Cindy and Elizabeth walking up the hill and all around them were just our hands. Hands of people from Australia (where cindy is from and Elizabeth was born, hands from California, Texas, Prague, Switzerland, Germany, England and Orkney, young hands and old hands. ) Some of the hands where on their backs like actually supporting as the were climbing this huge hill, others were just all around, but there were many many hands."

This brings tears to my eyes and yearning into my heart. WOW, I feel like a part of such a huge, amazing family. What can I say. I feel like on the eve of a life-transforming experience for Elizabeth, for our whole family.

Samuel walked a week of the camino pilgrimage trail 2 years ago. The family walked a small portion of it too. He walked as an adult, with the adults (Derek, Amy, Shannon, Jessica, Erika, Robbie, Grace, Teresa, Leah). At the end of the week we had a big party and Derek gave Samuel a man's shirt. You know, he really did become a man that day.

I can already see Elizabeth, the woman, trying to come out.

How great to watch our children growing into adults around these kind of amazing mentors.

Notes in Time of War

We all went out last nite to see the preformance that Abigail has been working on all year. Children in 5th year from 5 schools have been reading diaries of children in war-torn countries. With the help of their main teachers and their music teachers, they have been writing songs and learning dances from those countries in response.

We followed the "Halberdier", a 2000 year old "horn of war", flags and a brass band of adults and children across the street and into the hall. As we entered the hall we saw, flashing above our heads  projected images of children and brief statements of their thoughts on war, "I am afraid to go out of the house. Why is my dad fighting? Bang, my sister is dead. etc." We stood during the performance and our attention was led from stage to stage by a lone violin player. Abigail's class did Bosnia. The other wars represented were in Northern Ireland, Rwanda, and Iraq. Abigail's class even had a Bosnian popstar to help them. They would play on stage until the sounds of bombs would cause them to stop, their popstar sang a song of remorse and then they danced together. The Northern Ireland kids were playing together, learned to hate and take their sides then danced together at the end. In the Iraq one it was the americans doing the killing. Ouch. The one on Rwanda had mentally and physically handicapped children fully integrated in with the other kids.

At the end  the children encircled us, holding hands and singing a song they wrote.
"Tomorrow there will be no fighting.
Tomorrow there will be no riots.
No more ruined, empty houses.
No more lies and empty promises.
Tomorrow there will be more talking.
Tomorrow there will be more listening.
Respect for us.
Respect for others.
Fathers, sisters, mothers, brothers.
Who will listen to our voices.
Who in charge will make our choices.
Children will be here tomorrow.
Will tomorrow come?"

Why is it so hard to see children involved in war? Is it because they have no choice? I would like to propose an additional possibility. They have hope. They are an embodiment of hope. We lose them we lose hope for the future. Lord, as adults of the world, protect our children, give us wisdom, give us understanding, give us compassion.

Since putting my kids in the U.K. schools (in east London and up here in Orkney)  I have noticed a tremendous emphasis on peace, understanding different cultures, understanding the cost of war, responsibility in looking after the earth. Is this just a U.K. thing, a fluke or is this a worldwide trend? I sure hope it is the latter. The power of learning these things as children and carrying them into adulthood is powerful.

Btw Abigail is the far right child in the top photo, the short center in the second photo.

Guilt or Freedom

I am quite good at putting myself on a tremendous guilt trip. At times I have felt guilty homeschooling when a network of homeschoolers are unavailable, guilty for not homeschooling, guilty for moving about, guilty for staying put, guilty for living where life is rough, living where life is comfortable, time with my kids, time away from my kids, putting Andrew's needs ahead of my kids and putting the kids needs ahead of Andrew,  I even feel guilty every time I buy bisquits (cookies) instead of baking them myself.

My guilt helps me understand a bit about the attraction of pennance (sp?). We want to beat ourselves up. I mean what is this perverted thing of self-persecution. How hard can it be to live in grace for ourselves and those around us. I think the lack of grace can lead to judgement. We start by judging ourselves and then to relieve the pressure we judge others and then the guilt. A horrible downward spiral.

God cannot be in this. God is NOT in this. I spent most of my childhood thinking God was a nasty ogre wagging his finger at me just waiting for me to mess up.

I remember the first time I was told that God loved me. I felt His long melting embrace and I trembled. I still tremble when I feel it or think about it. Just to be wrapped up in so much pure love. He is all about love and grace and freedom. The Bible is a book of passion and love. Jesus is about passion and love. Not to mention Freedom. Sometimes I feel like I want to stand up high and yell FREEDOM, even in, especially in among followers of Jesus.

I want to feel the embrace of God, I want to dance with Jesus and I want to swim with the Holy Spirit as often as possible. I want all this as I am alone and in with others who want to celebrate.

Big Red Tomato

My tomato plants are dying. I have raised them from seeds. Some are taller than most my kids but their leaves are growing all sorts of unhealthy colours. I finally have some little yellow flowers, but not many.

It has been one of my life goals to produce a Big Red Tomato from a plant I have raised from a seed. I have had many setbacks over the years. Travelling alot hasn't done much for my endeavors, from absentee gardening to gardening in new climates. In Scotland in 2000 I was a pretty good joke in the local town as it is too cold there to get tomatoes from green to red outside. They thought it would be funny not to tell me this til they saw my defeat.  Tomatoes live "under glass" in Scotland.  I didn't know this, now I do. I have become more observant over the years and have talked to my neighbours about gardening. I am now moving them to a new location in the house, maybe good, maybe bad. They will be in my  face more so I won't forget them. The down side is that they will make my shame public.

There are certain bizarre goals I have like a big red tomato. Years ago I felt like it was important to "conquer the yeast". You know, to do it "my way" without the machines, expensive classes or meticulous behaviour. I am no longer afraid of yeast, yeast is my friend.

So now I am looking at my dying plants. I guess I am kinda stubborn (so thats where my kids get it). Even though I am in my 40s I dont want to give up just because I have never succeeded before in this area. I never want to stop learning and trying and growing til the day I die.

Who is your Church

I am reading and thinking alot on some very profound things that Amy has blogged about church. She and her husband are some of our closest friends, they are both highly prophetic, God's mystics, and profound writers, they know how to capture the heart of God in words, probably because they spend so much time in his presence and will follow Him to the end of the earth on a moments notice.  I just finished the first and second installment on church and had to stop before reading the third because I want to think more on the first 2. Unlike Andrew my brain doesn't get turbo-charged with too much info, it just gets confused.

Some of my favourite sentences, so far, are,

"Especially in the last 10 years, He has been restoring to the today a living knowledge of what it means to be the mystical body of Christ."

"I have had to really learn how to forgive the parts of the church that frustrated or rejected me - and God ESPECIALLY uses rejection as a way of growing spiritual maturity in people. We are called to love the whole body, not just one part. If we fear the opinions of others their rejection or their acceptance we continue to judge them and applaud ourselves."

As they have no "comments" section on their blog. I would like to open up my "internet home" as I would love some discussion about these 6 articles. Sorry I only have virtual tea/coffee and cakes to offer you here as you come.

Blog Break

Not for religious reasons but technical. Phone lines are down in our house and repairman comes Monday. Please not I will NOT be blogging nor responding to comments. (Andrew)

Cool by Association

I have felt this for years with my friends. I have shared a table with some of the most amazing, interesting and coolest people on the planet.I will look around the room at people who would call themselves my friends or "think happy thoughts" about them in their absence and think "Wow, I have the coolest friends in the world. I am cool by association with them." I am now thinking that with my blog. "Wow, I have the coolest people coming to my blog. I am cool by association with them." Problem is, when your comments are so nice I don't know how to reply. so here is a big collective thank you and I am really glad you're coming. I really do feel "blessed".   You rock!

About Me

I look at alot of your blogs and you have a little "about me" thing on the side. I have thought about doing this but not quite sure what to say. Should I make an attempt to be clever and witty, should i be sarcastic, should I just give it straight. I never thought I would have to do this part because I thought only those that know me already would come on.

So here goes Draft I.
I am the wife of a tallskinnykiwi. I am the mother of 5 kids (from 3 to 14). I like to talk too much and this blog is a good outlet. I also like to make things that I think are beautiful. No, I don't think so, too boring.

Draft 2.
I was born in the U.S., left in my early 20s, met my husband while a missionary with OM for 2 years, supported him through seminary with nursing, was a pastor's wife for....No, I can already see this will be way too long and definately boring.

Draft 3.
Born in U.S.
Married to Andrew, for almost 18 years. He gives me permission to be myself.
Mother of 5 kids (born in 3 different countries).
Art participant.
Have called some very bizarre places home.
Motorhomes.
Tent.
Apartments and Houses in about 5 countries.
Ship.
Mud hut.
Would like to someday add Yurt to this list.
Frequently houseless but rarely homeless.
Living in the Orkney Islands (a strange choice but we think God is in it).
We tend to get the bizarre end of God's will, He knows we like it that way.
I love Jesus but don't like being religious.
I tend away from the status quo.
Upon glancing at myself in a mirror I have realized I am too old, grey and wrinkled to go for "pretty".
I get to be "eccentric".
I am old enough to have figured out what I like and too old to care if it is cool or not.

I'll let this one sit for a day. Then it may end up in the sidebar.

I am Woman

I AM WOMAN! I just feel like shouting it with enthusiasm this morning. I do that when I feel like womanhood is being despised and I normally yell "Capital W" to myself or those with me when I feel like someone has shown extra strength in her womanhood. Dang, don't you just hate it. We are told we must have the bodies of pre-pubesent (sp?) little girls when curves show a reflection of our inner beauty as grown-up, mature, intelligent women not to mention celebrating motherhood. I also hate it when we are told we must be like men to have something significant to offer in society as a whole (have you heard about the controversy of women taking testosterone injections to make it in the workplace?). Excuse me! Are we not also made in the image of God. Do we not, in the strength of our womanhood, add something unique to society. If we celebrate womanhood does that make us weak? On the other extreme does celebrating womanhood make us despise men? I think if we stop despising our womanhood and start stepping out as women in the way that we were created, by a God who definately knew what He was doing, then we will stop despising men (can you say "passive aggressive") and will be vibrant partners to men and together we will be a full, rich, beautiful expression of God and his nature to the world that we were intended to be. Whew, got that off my chest!

Landrover Returns

Well, feeling much better. Somebody must have been praying. I was able to stay in my bad mood for a couple of days and I didn't take it out on anyone else. I call that victory. I didn't make myself think happy thoughts and tried to stay away from guilt as much as possible and I tried not to take it out on my family. Isn't it terrible, when I get in a bad mood it is those I love the most that my nature wants to destroy. What is that about? Serious fallen nature stuff. Why can't it be that I take out a bad mood on complete strangers. Why those I love? I think, when I get in a bad mood I need to put less effort into getting happy (just let myself be sad or mad or depressed) and more effort into protecting those I love most. It worked out okay this last time, we'll see about next time.

Personal happenings, I passed the buck on Abigail going to brownie camp onto the nurse and she gave her the thumbs up except Abi wasn't allowed to do any athletics and no rolling down the hill (part of living in a smaller town, she knew all about what kids like to do at that particular camp). Abigails leg did look alot better on Friday as well. On Wednesday it was "angry" looking and made me worry. Big apology to Ingrid who came over on Thursday (my bad day) to experience the most boring hostess on record. I think she still wants to be my friend though, yeah. And, was someone praying about books or something? The broken down landrover came home, at last, after about 2 months, laden down with our "treasures". I am in book heaven. Where to put them all, what to read first. I didn't know which one to leaf through first. With our travels I have lost and had to give away alot of things I treasure. At first someone might think,"Oh, you are so unmaterialistic." Actually, at risk of not seeming perfect, I think I am more materialistic. In our family, I think, the more we give up the closer we get to "bizarre" treasures. Photos, of course, ratty old books, funky old german bikes and of course our army of old tents and sleeping bags (our mobile means of hosting) and quirky gifts that reveal the faces of precious friends. Things most people would look at as junk. Now I just need to find a place to put our eclectic collection of "treasures". Also, had a great afternoon/evening at the Bergen's house yesterday, a fun-filled time with kids, curry, a lamb called rocket and a motorbike.

Rainy Day

Well, not feeling very positive today. My last couple of posts were a bit on the negative and I can't seem to find a more positive post in me. You see, I've got this thing about authenticity. So pray for my family that I don't take my bad mood out on them. Some things flooding my mind. My dad, we live so far away and his heart problems are gettting worse. I miss him and love him. My mom, "Worrys like a rocking chair, gives you something to do dont get ya-anywhere" and "Im gunna trade you in for a cockroach and step on it." I miss her and love her too. Abigail, the sore on her leg is getting worse, I don't think I can let her go to brownie camp this weekend, shes going to be so dissapointed. What right do I have to make suggestions to anyone on motherhood. I think I need to get some new books. The only ones I seem to be picking up are really old catholic ones that say things like, "bring on that near death painful experience so I can have that last rites with you Lord." I think I might go to Carrie's house and see if I can borrow a book from her late father-in-laws library of the christian classics. Any recommendations of the best of the best of christian classics? I wore sandals yesterday because it was June 1st. Dang, my feet were cold. Shall I kick the cat. Well, you know Squeeks might deserve it as she keeps sitting on my keyboard but no I will resist. I think I better stop now. I think I am going to regret blogging in this bad mood.