Haggard and the Hazzard of Hotels

Since we are all talking about Ted Haggard [without cementing the accusations] and pastors with a little common sense are examining pot-holes and booby-traps in their own lives, I want to throw a little thought out into the blogosphere that might be of some help to traveling preachers, missionaries and executives. Not because i am perfect, but because i am aware of the constant struggle for purity and the increased pressure that travel adds to it. And I have been traveling for a few decades and have stayed at countless hotels so this thought has been brewing for a while.

Mark Driscoll's advice for traveling ministers is good and I recommend reading it - although his comment on wives letting themselves go is as Emerging Mosaic points out, a little UNTIMELY [dang Mark, couldn't you wait a week before bringing Mrs Haggard into the equation??] and his advise on ALWAYS traveling with a partner or child is helpful in an idealist world but not really practical for those without a hefty budget or those who are road warriors for the Kingdom. I travel a third of my time. I work in lots of countries and cities and if i had to bring someone with me on every trip, my kids would never get educated and i would have to ask my supporters for a much bigger travel allowance. MUCH bigger. And raising funds from churches and individuals for my own ministry at its current lowly level is tough enough.

And like Mark Driscoll, God has been gracious - neither myself nor my wife (who is traveling from Orgeon to Houston today) have ever slept with anyone else - ever. And you can just imagine the offers i get with my stunning good looks.

OK - point taken . . .

Most of the time I travel alone but i am careful where i stay. If i have a choice, I crash on a friends couch. In summer I bring my tent. I even crash on airport floors to save a few bucks and travel time. If i don't know anyone in a city, I usually stay at a youth hostel. Its really cheap and i stay in a room with 5 or more people. I have to sleep with my wallet and passport in my pocket or under my pillow but it keeps me away from hotels where i am all alone and where weird things happen.

Heres the deal. Hotels can be treacherous places for people of God to stay at because of the spiritual residue from weird and dark things that have happened in that room. OK - some of you will think me loony here. And some of you don't believe in demons. But let me play it out.

Technorati Tags: emerging church, ted haggard

Hotels, like a particular house in New Orleans, have been the ruin of many a poor boy. Some hotels are famous for the part they had to play in the destruction of careers and downfall of movie stars. Fatty Arbuckle at St Francis Hotel, San Francsico (pictured above) comes to mind every time i walk by that hotel. And there are others.

Hotels are often places where anonymously weird, perverted, dangerous, evil things of a dark nature happen - all attracting the attention and the attachment of evil spirits. Permission is granted to those spirits in those places and I don't think that permission is withdrawn once the people are gone. That means if you end up in a hotel room where weird things have just happened, you really need to do some kung fu in that room and cleanse it out before you put your bags down and settle in for the night. Really. And someone close to you should know where you are. And, I argue, why do church ministers all have to stay in nice hotels anyway?

In the emerging church scene that i frequent, very few people have the bucks to stay in hotels so we couch-surf our way around the world and that not only helps deal with the hotel scandal thing, but it also opens up lots of space to be together in our own homes and learn to be the church together.

Anyway, thats my two cents.

Related:
Ted Haggard. The Video
Meth Was a Bad Choice
Haggard and the Hazzard of Hotels
Carrying Your Dad's Dumbbell
Gayle Haggard: An Excellent Woman Who Can Find?

Comments

[marcussplitt]

OK, you are absolutly right. Forget my post on previous post on the subject. Its just allways shocking for me...

[Mark Traphagen]

Although the advice about avoiding being alone in hotels is probably wise, it did strike me that several of Driscoll's suggestions only work for pastors of megachurches with large budgets. Kind of like Madonna having no idea how much a quart of milk costs.

[Tim the Enchanter]

I'm hearing you Andrew. Loads of common sense here.

[Ryan]

Andrew,
I really appreciate your wisdom about combating spiritual darkness. I have been conversing with emerging circles for a few years now and I find many shying away from such topics. I find what you have to say on the issue necessary and appropriate.

[Cultural Savage]

Even if you can't take someone with you (which I agree is a great idea, but does seem to only work for the big bucks churches), it is possible to not travel alone.

Couch surfing across the world does lend it's self to developing world wide community. This allows people to travel without being far from family (the spiritual true family). And those family members can help keep you accountable and connected with the biological family that you are away from.

Plus with email, skype, and all sorts of other nifty stuff, you never will travel to far away to truly be alone.

Good Post TSK.

[+ Alan]

Good thoughts Andrew. We all need to hear that. I've been in a place for a while now of being able to see the need for certain "rules" for one's self in things like this. And it's not about legalism or gaining anyone's, much less God's, favor. It's about, where and what do you want to be in your life? Well, make sure and do what belongs to that and not something else.

And realizing that we are all weak to some certain degree and are not beyond temptation. Same goes for general relationships and situations with the opposite sex who aren't our spouses. That always sounds too "old-fashioned" for many in our emerging circles today - until something happens. Oh well. We don't want to totally live in fear either but I'm sure wisdom has been labeled fear before. Anyway, let me stop rambling. Peace to you.

[andrew (tall skinny kiwi)]

thanks. i should say that i do end up in hotels - often placed there by conference organizers or churches. and its always nice to enjoy them when i can.

[blind beggar]

A little spiritual Kung Fu before unpacking your bags sound like good advice.

I know one person who does lots of conferences and other events. His policy is to ask the organizers to put him up in a Christian home. He avoids hotels as much as possible.

[ed c]

The Ted Haggard issue seems to bring up the issue of power and position. Dang it, he was a pastor of 14,000 AND the leader of the NAE. Does that strike any one else as a bit much?

If anything, this situation seems to point out the beauty of smaller, local churches and a critical examination of celebrity pastors/ministers.

This goes for the emerging church as well as every other branch of Christianity. Can we have our "Pauls" who travel about and encourage the church? Surely. But can we think of healthier ways to lead our churches in light of this scandal?

I hope so.

[Joe Kennedy]

well, first let me offer my couch to anybody seriously in need of not staying in a hotel here in new orleans...

now for the other part...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this post. dude it's hard enough to go out to Uptown or the Quarter here by myself (so i almost never do). it's not so much that i anticipate falling. chances are likely that i won't. (no girl would get drunk enough to have me, and i've never been tempted by the booze enough to go after it.) but i won't do it. Jesus said go two by two- in part (or in full) for accountability.

so anyway, thanks man.

[Julie Clawson]

Besides finding most of Driscolls suggestions impractical and impediments to actually loving and serving in the kingdom of God, I am disgusted that even in light of the details of this paticular scandal, he puts the blame on women. He dwells on it being women who are the flirts or who have let themselves go - and so its all their fault. This seems just be another jab by Driscoll at women in order to remove them further from any church ministry roles and make the church continue to view them as inferior...

[ellie]

Driscoll's comments did seem very odd (and quite offensive!) particularly in this situation. It seems in this situation that Haggard wasn't tempted by a woman, he sought out the company of a man. It seems to me that we're skirting the issue completely.

sleeping alone in a hotel room - however evil the spirits may be that dwell there - is not going to cause Haggard's alleged behaviour. There's a whole sick system that's built up in our churches of denying and honestly facing the battles people have with their sexuality. Until we face that things are never going to change. We shouldn't be hypocritical enough to express surprise at situations like this.

[maryellen]

i appreciate your words on spiritual stuff hanging out in places and wanting to have a place feel "light". P.S. cool new banner/header

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[tsk] thanks maryellen - i took the picture of that bike in Belgium and it makes me smile every time i see it.

[peter magelssen]

great post andrew. never thought about the hotel angle.

[chad]

Great thoughts....i kept myself from reading Driscoll's comments, cause I am trying to stay holy and he usually gets me pretty pissed off...

I know that several people have mentioned couch crashing. As a fan of the road I love it, but what can we offer up to maybe organize it a little more.

I have alot of friends that play in Rock and Roll bands that tour and they stay at my house. Heck, I think I could get around 5 people sleeping NOT on the floor.

Is there some sort of master couch crashing database with people that will offer up their pad for their brothers and sisters.

If anyone is around Lexington,KY they can stay with me and the wife and get chocalate chip pancakes in the morning.

[andrew (tall skinny kiwi)]

chad. good question. about a year ago a website started up called [i think] couchsurfer.com or couchsurfers.com- if you signed up to crash in someones house, you were also making your couch available. great idea . maybe church folk should have one like that.

it would totally work for me

the other thing is that all these new monastic centers that are popping up have a strong philosophy of hospitality and i am encouraging them to have an "Elijah Room" for traveling prophets and teachers and apostles to stay in when they come through.

if any geek out there want to put a database into motion, let me know.

[Pastor Astor]

I have read a whole bundle of english speaking posts on Haggard, and there are a whole lot of interesting theories out there conserning the reason for what happened. Driscolls is the worst by far. "The reason is that pastors wifes let the selves go, because their husbands are trapped in fidelity". You speak about the danger of hotels (they are infected by demons), yet another one suggests that it is a male menopause issue. Emerging Grace is the first I´ve read that seaks the reason where I believe it is to be found: In the american leadership ideal. You guys tend to put your leaders on a pedistal, expecting them to be superhuman, and this IS NOT COMPATIBLE WITH THE GOSPEL!!! We are all sinners and in need of a saviour. How can it be a surprise that Haggard is human? When it is revealed that the church has been led by a HUMAN BEING (oh, the shame) a team of superhuman garbageguys are called in and he is quickly disposed of. What if pastors would have a place to be human, to confess, to be transparant? Then theese things wouldn´t have to happen! I also think north american christians have a strange relationship to sexuality. It is like they view it as a uncontrollable force that posess them all. If a man and a woman (or man and man in Haggards case) end up alone in a room - then the auto pilot kicks in and there is nothing one can do... I think what was first a way of motivating people by fear has been repeated so many times that it is now viewed as the truth. How come american christians are an exeption to what has been true for all other christians; that our sexuality is subject to our will? This is the reason we can talk about celibacy and no sex outside of marriage - because it is possible to say no! I believe the way american christians talk about it will produce a victim mentality and self fulfilling prophecies: "I wasn´t responsible, I am a victim to my sexuality, because I had the opportunity. And we all know what happens then..."

I hope I haven´t insulted anyone.

[andrew (tall skinny kiwi)]

thanks pastor astor

i hope you didnt read me saying that the ONE single reason for ted haggard's fall was a demonized hotel room. that would be a silly thing to say.

i am sure there are dozens of factors contributing - which are helpful to discuss as we examine our own lives and walk - but it comes down to choosing the fruit on the tree, and as i say in another more recent post .. . Meth was a bad choice

[emma]

"if any geek out there want to put a database into motion, let me know"

hey... why not, I have plenty of free time! and I do love the geekery side of things. maybe drop me an email andrew, and see if we can get this going?

[Corrie]

I think that Marc Driscoll got the thing about pastor's wives letting themselves go and not being available sexually wrong. I believe that he should have told the pastors to make sure they keep physically fit and studly looking for their wives and maybe they would want to have sex with them. Why is this old addage never presented in this manner?

Poor Mrs. Haggard. I certainly hope she doesn't read Marc's entry. And I saw a picture of her; she looks quite beautiful. But, what has THAT got to do with any of this? Yes, Marc had some good things to say but that one point tells me a lot about the mindset. We need to get back to scripture and what it teaches us about sexual sin and stop blaming women for not being attractive and sexual enough.

Do you know the double message we get? Either we are too pretty and sexual and a threat to all the other men around us or we have let ourselves go, too frumpy and if our husbands stumble it is our fault.

Maybe these pastors aren't getting any because they have let themselves go and now are sporting big guts and bad teeth from all the pie socials?

I say this all tongue in cheek. It is a ridiculous assertion either way. All the sex and beauty in the world will not keep someone from sinning sexually. Just ask King David.

I agree with Pastor Astor's comment about us Americans being the only ones who seem to think that a male's sexuality cannot be controlled by the will. We have a queer way of looking at it especially when the Bible teaches us that the problem of lust and ungodly desires lies with the one lusting.

Sexuality IS subject to our will. We are not the puppets of our sex drives. The Bible makes it clear that we are capable through the Holy Spirit of controlling ourselves. We are not animals who are programmed by animal instincts.

Thanks for the good thoughts, Andrew. I have enjoyed reading through your blog.

[andrew (tall skinny kiwi)]

emma - thanks - couchsurfing.com

Corrie - yes - gayle is great looking - and i wish pastor astor was only talking about americans but the sad fact is that is is a worldwide problem

i talked to an english minister a while ago about abstinence and he called it an unreasonable expectation for young Christians. - that was a shock to hear.

[Larry]

I find you guys extremely judgmental, and usually that is reserved for us fundamentalists. I read Driscoll's comments and thought they were good. Perhaps I am too naive, but I would have never thought anything wrong until a few people started complaining. Then I went back and reread, and can't figure out what the hubbub is about.

First, he didn't blame it on women. If you think he did, go back and reread it. His comments were directed at men.

Secondly, he commented on pastors he knows. He didn't comment on all pastors. The same is true whether one is a man or woman. If you do not have a healthy sexual relationship at home, you will be more tempted to look elsewhere for it. That is why the Proverbs tell us to be satisfied with the wife of our youth.

Thirdly, he made a generic comment about women who let themselves go. Do you deny that that is true? If you do, you are living with your head in the sand. Many women (and men) have let themselves go. The reality is that this is usually a bigger deal for men, since they are more visually oriented than women. That doesn't excuse others, but let's not deny the truth here.

Fourth, his principle seems to be what God said in 1 Cor 7, that is, to avoid fornication, have a wife and pursue a healthy sexual relationship with her.

I just find it strange that you guys are so judgmental about this. I really do. Ironic as well.

[Chris(tine)]

Andrew -

While I was quite offended by Driscoll's post, I did not interpret your post on hotel rooms as an excuse for anyone's behaviour.

I was encouraged to read of someone who had experienced the problem of residual spiritual presences in hotel rooms - well, that came out wrong. I mean I was encouraged to read of someone who was aware of this problem. I used to be more sensitive to this, but I have frankly let my awareness be dulled. And, of course, it doesn't only affect people traveling singly...

After having happily left behind the church circles and the era where there was an over-focus on demons and their influence, it is encouraging to read of someone who still takes into some account an awareness of spiritual realities.

[andrew (tall skinny kiwi)]

larry - thanks for letting your stuff out loud for us. if you want to hear what dozens of female bloggers are objecting to, do a search and see or check out
anything they say or momsquawk.
i am no expert in talking in women and actually am somewhat of a blundermouth but 19 years of marriage has taught me that timing and sensitivity and context can be just as important as the facts or what i think are the facts.

and thanks Christine for letting me say something that a lot of people get extreme and weird about.

[dean]

andrew,

i like the idea of couch surfing and see the benefits. the problem is that i just don't know people in some of the towns/areas that i travel to that would enable me to couch surf. i would love to do it though, i would be much happier and better off hanging out with people, even ones i don't know, then sitting alone in a hotel room.

thanks,

dean