Offensive language: I Think My Mother Taught Me

WARNING: If cussing and offensive language piss you off, excuse my King James, please do not read on because I WILL refer to words that are deeply offensive and yet must be mentioned if we are to have a serious and objective look at the subject of offensive language and the emerging church movement.

Interesting conversation going on this week at Monday Morning Insight. Charles Swindoll has been dropped from VCY radio station for using 'vulgar" language [including buns, heck, crap, balls] I think it was the "crap" word that got him in trouble.

Todd says . . .
"VCY alerted IFL that day that the word, “crap” is crude, uncalled for and offensive and should not to be used in a Christian’s vocabulary, let alone come from a pulpit and broadcast all over the country. VCY stated to IFL that this term Chuck used did not pass the test of Ephesians 4:29." Ingrid responded and is being backed up by Ken who is quoting Tozer and the finger wagging is happening all over.

BTW - Chuck Swindoll was my pastor in the eighties when i lived in Orange County. My wife was a missionary sent from EFC in Fullerton and we were married in that church. He is a good man and if he says "crap", then i would assume that the era of crap being a swear word has ended and people need to get used to it.

Technorati Tags: cuss, emergent, emerging church, mark driscoll, swear

Same with "ass". In January this year, John Piper got called out for saying that God "kicks our ass". He explained later that "backside" would have sufficed, and there was much conversation [see links on Justin Taylor's blog and Wayne Grudem's response]. But, honestly, no explanation was needed. I think saying "ASS" should not ASSault anyone and is not ASinine in the slightest. But that depends who is ASking. The word is no longer offensive except to a tiny minority of people . . who are probably ASleep in ASpen. The word might even be an ASSet to poets who need to AScribe strong* words to ASSociates.

* is an ASterisk.

Its usually the emerging church that gets slammed for bad language and cussing. The most famous is Mark Driscoll who was called "The Cussing Pastor" in a book by Donald Miller and chastised by John Macarthur in his Grunge Christianity?. As I said a few days ago, Mark Driscoll is NOT offensive to the people in his congregation. Every culture and geographic location is unique and finding a universal code of non-offensive language is impossible.

Actually, the international emerging scene uses far more 'swear' words than the American. One reason for this is that English is often a second language and certain words, learned from watching Eddie Murphy movies, dont have the same impact. Ohhhh . . the things I have heard . . .

You probably have too. Not so much in emerging church evangelism, as the critics charge. Nothing trendy about cussing at all. But if your church has ever hosted an open mike night and 20 artists are plumbing the depths of their souls and expressing the results with language that fits . . . well . . you hear stuff that your mother never said. Once I was in a church meeting in Texas and a new Christian read some poetry that verbaized his repentance from a recent slip up. We all listened intently as he tearfully read out his confession, in a really loud voice, "God . . . I am sooo sorry. I feel like I have been f___d over by the devil".

What would you do if that happened in your church?

Words change. I am sure Charles Spurgeon would not talk about "nigger entertainments" as he did in a 1891 Sword and Trowel publication. And the translators of the King James Bible would probably not employ the word "piss" (1 Sam 25:22, 25:34; 1 Kings 14:10, 16:11, 21:21; 2 Kings 9:8) for "urinate" or "to relieve oneself". The word "sucks", it was pointed out by Justin on EmergentNo.com in 2005, is no longer a deeply offensive word. Words change, just like cultures change. And applying outdated templates is not always appropriate.

But some words ARE offensive to a lot of people and the Scriptures have much to say about the way we speak and the words we choose. Heres how I see it. Heres the skinny.

Words change and their impact changes. As I already said. I see swear words as belonging to three distinct historical periods and forgive me if they are becoming cliche in these conversations.

1. In Premodern times, the most offensive words were excommunicatory in nature.
Offensive words were religious terms that threatened punishment and damnation. Its still the same in French. My French speaking friends tell me the most offensive words in their language are still along those lines of religious cursing and calling someone a "devil" In English, the words "damn" and "hell" used to have a harsh edge but have softened over time. The names of God and Christ and Joseph/Mary are often called up to create offense. In fact, the word "cuss" is related to "curse" which has religious overtones, as does the word "swear".
At Sunday School, i was told not to use words like "Geez Whiz", and "Jeepers" because they were toned down versions of swear words. There were lots of these words - "Gosh", "golly" . . ."struth" which means 'God's truth' and is still popular in Australia.
My mother was brought up in a very strict Presbyterian home and was forbidden to swear. She and her sisters said "Amster-naughtyword" instead of Amsterdam.
BUT . .. she was allowed to repeat the refrain "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a nigger by the toe . . " That was not offensive in her day.

2. In Modern times, which is where many people still live, words that cause most offense affront our personal and private sensibilities.
These offensive words [explicit?] are normally associated with private body parts, bodily functions of a toilet nature, and sexual relations. The shift began in the 1800's in USA, when restrictions on language focused on sexuality. It is this era that many older people still use as a standard of the most offensive swear words. For example, as a child, I was not allowed to say "bum" or "crap" or "piss". Obviously, harsher words than these were also forbidden.

3. In our Post-modern times, as the voices of the margin dwellers and powerless have been given consideration and brought to the center, it is exclusionary language that causes most offence. Marginalizing people due to their race, gender, disability or status is about the most offensive thing you can say. Once I accidently used the word "girl" instead of "woman" - the uproar was global and the judgement swift. People still remind me of it. Mark Driscoll has also been rebuked by emerging church folk for comments that sounded misogynist. This makes him an interesting subject, as someone who has managed to offend people in at least two camps.

But I have never heard Mark Driscoll say "Nigger" like Spurgeon did . . . and I am guessing he never will. And Spurgeon wouldn't either in today's world. Despite his reputation as the cussing pastor, I dont think Driscoll is motivated to offend people. I might be wrong but I think he is more concerned with expressing the fulness and impact of what he wants to say in the everday language of his people. Are'nt we all?

Just a month ago, hip-hop producer Russell Simmons recommended eliminating "extreme curse words" from the recording industry.
Which words? They were "nigger, "bitch" and "ho". Note the absense of sexual or bodily function type cuss words. These days, no one loses their job for saying "crap" but if you say "Nigger" in USA or "Ching" in Australia or "Coconut" in NZ or "Paki" in UK then your entire career might be on the line.

In the USA a lawsuit was brought against a Southwest Airlines Flight attendant in 2003 for using this rhyme, even without saying the n___ word. What she said was "Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, pick a seat, we gotta go".
Its the same refrain I used to repeat when counting.

I think my mother taught me.

[hey mum - dont worry . . you didnt know any better]

In the UK, a paper published on offensive language called 'Delete Expletives' [pdf] found the word "nigger" had the most movement - going from eleveth position in 1998 to fifth in 2000. In the same time period, the word "Paki" went from seventeenth to tenth. "Paki" in USA hardly registers as a swear word at all.

So, I guess I am saying that words still offend but those words are in a state of flux and their impact is related to what is happening in society.

And God's word is still just as applicable today as it has always been. Apart from one of the Ten Commandments (Ex 20) telling us not to use the LORD's name in an empty manner [ie, without thought or meaning, or 'in vain'], there are two passages from the Scriptures that stick in my mind:

1. Jesus warned his listeners against calling anyone "Raca" or empty-head.(Matthew 5:22). This is the kind of exclusionary and demeaning insult that makes up the harshest offensive language today in these postmodern, postcolonial times. The equivalent of "Raca" will be different in every language. "estupido" in Spanish is a very harsh word but in English it isnt very offensive. But there are plenty of insulting words that rip people's esteem to shreds and the command of Jesus remains. Lets not tear each other down with these kinds of words. Love builds up and it never destroys. Love is the language of the Kingdom and the Kingdom is more about power than words (1 Cor 4:20) so we shouldn't get too hung up with wrangling (good Texas word) over words.

2. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Eph 4:29-31
Again, lets use words to build people up. Lets NOT use our words or our blogs for slandering others or expressing our anger. Give your anger to God and let him deal with it. Words can tear down or build up. Lets build each other up and not grieve the Holy Spirit.

Carla Rolfe has some viral-worthy advice on this and anyone who gets intoxicated with criticising and ripping down should pay attention:

"If someone is currently blessing you or has been a blessing in your walk, take the time to tell them. Call them if you can, or email them, or send a card. Find a nice way to lift their hearts and know that they have indeed blessed you and strengthened you." Go bless someone, Reflections on the Times

And when it comes to choosing words to express oneself, I try to keep in mind my audience. If i am invited to preach at a traditional church and there is a lot of grey hair in the front rows, I figure their list of bad words is from an earlier historical period than mine and the language I choose will hopefully fit the situation and will not cause offense. Why offend when we have a message to get across? But its not always easy to express oneself fully to multiple generations.

And if the person i am listening to uses a word that offends me, I will be quick to believe the best (1 Cor 13) and assume that they have walked a different path, and what i consider offensive may not necessarily be the same standard by which they judge their words. But there is still a place for rebuke and correction.

Anyway . .

---------------------

Want to help me out?
This little blog post is just crying out to be a 3 point ditty for some Baptist pastor to repeat. But I cant find a word for the second point, nor the desire to find it. Maybe you can. Make sure it starts with "ex-".

Afterword:
My wife just came home and after showing her my blog post, she told me of some related news. The RSPB (Royal Society for the Protection of Birds) just today has officially removed any reference to the male blackbird as C___K. The reason was that their website was getting blocked by profanity filters. The word c.o.c.k will now be spelled with 4 asterisks - ****

If Beavis and Butthead were here, one of them would say "He he he huh he . . . he said ASterisk . . . huh huh he he!"

Comments

[david]

Very interesting post. I was made to think of this issue a week or so ago.

Had been watching the first session of BattleStar Galactar on DVD (until I figured it was just a soap opera with space ships and go board). Relevance - they use "Freck" as their standard swear word..

Anyway in this work meeting with two Christians and said something about politics and how unless you can show people why it is important to them they wouldn't give a Freck.

Anyway the facilitator of the meeting said he never allows swear words or anything close to it in meetings so don't do it again.

Felt quite chagrined but realized that as a Christian my standards should be the level above what people find offensive. And that I hadn't really given the word "freck" any thought. It has taken me quite a bit of disciple and work to pull back the words that are marginal.

Like you pointed out though really issues come in with a national or global community.

[Jon Hallewell]

Last year I was depressed and uptight (some people who know me might say I still am!) I had all kinds of prayer, was trying all kinds of ways to get out of it to no avail. I spent a week with a pastor friend. At the end of the week he said God had given him a word for me. The word "In the name of Jesus Christ just [F word]ing relax." Did he get it wrong? Does God swear? All I know is that the impact was immediate. I was immediately released and in a different place. Somehow ... "just relax" would not quite have had the same effect. It didn't offend me. I guess they both (God and the pastor) weighed that up before saying it.

[lisa]

I was giving a message on Creation and I quoted Alice Walker in The Color Purple saying "I think it pisses God off when we walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice it." I referenced the quote and apologized ahead of time in case it offended, but I still got one strong complaint. Last summer I was praying in front of a large group of mostly Americans and I happened to say in my prayer for the situation in the Middle East that I was "embarrassed of my government." I got into quite a lot more trouble for that. I guess you never know what will offend.

[Wulf Forrester-Barker]

Excremental? That would cover the "dirtiness" associated with literal excretions and sexuality.

[andrew]

excremental? he he he. that sounds almost religious.

lisa, thanks for that. i wonder if sometimes God pushes us to break our own taboos, like he did with Peter and the food he ate (with Cornelius) and with Ezekiel and the kind of dung he chose.

[dave]

Andrew - my old church in Canberra clearly didn't get the memo about "ass" not being a swearword. I got about six complaints after using that in the pulpit and one father banned his daughter from attending the evening service!

[Rob Grayson]

Andrew, thanks for not being afraid to get stuck into a sensitive and controversial subject. I find your overview very balanced. Frankly, if everyone worried more about judging themselves than others, there would be a lot more grace on display.

[andrew]

dave, are you sure you didnt use the word "arse". "arse" in Australia is much harsher than "ass" in USA and i would hold back before letting that one rip from a pulpit. . . the WORD i mean.

[dave]

Well, I don't know how offensive it's considered in the USA, but I wouldn't have thought "arse/ass" was especially strong language here.

[Carlo]

Interestingly to highlight our religiousness, I remember Tony Campolo saying something like, 'most people couldn't give a s*** that 9000 children will die of starvation today (or similar) and you are probably more bothered that I have just said the s-word than the fact that so many children will starve to death.' We Christians can tend to get awfully hung up on these things and lose a sense of priority.

[andrew]

Thanks Carlo. I remember that. That's a well told story in the western evangelical world.

[Sue]

It seems so legalistic to me to get hung up about words, which probably mean something entirely innocent in other languages anyway. Isn't an ass a donkey? I had no idea until a few years ago that it meant something quite different in the USA.

Having said that I don't like some of the 'bad' words, but recognise it's my personal hangups and preferences. As you say, what matters is our heart and attitude, not the actual words we use, which are related to culture and upbringing.

Even then, I think Christians can sometimes be too diplomatic, too polite, too careful not to give any offence when perhaps it might be better if we did. It was Jesus, after all, who didn't hesitate to use phrases like 'brood of vipers' or 'whitewashed sepulchres'. Perhaps the emerging church is actually walking more in Jesus' steps than many more traditional and legalistic congregations...?

[joe]

I think we need a healthy dose of getting-over-ourselves. We have already succeeded in turning the bible into totally banal English - and now we are attempting to superimpose our middle class values onto others.

You don't tend to hear much about it, but I am told that the original language makes it clear that St Paul considered himself to be a waste product in Philippians 3:8.

Curious, isn't it? We prefer the sanitised version than the actual text. I don't even want to think about what the text actually says when we read that 'x lay with y' and produced a son or daughter.

The other problem is that our system of language is linked historically to the Latin rather than the Anglo-saxon. Therefore it is fully reasonable to use words like copulate, urinate, defecate and so on when the anglo-saxon words which mean exactly the same things are very rude.

The anglo-saxon sounds harsh. This is what makes the swearing worth doing - it expresses some of the pent up pain and anger inside. I'm not sure that most people who swear actually mean what they're saying - that is totally beside the point.

OK enough already.

[andrew]

yeah . . . stop now, Joe, before you say something offensive you will regret!

[joe]

I don't know, Andrew. I don't like this sanitised bible and middle-class christianity - the thing is meant to be offensive.

Imagine if Christ had actually said the equivilent of

"Blessed are f-ked up, for they will inherit the earth"

"Just as the well do not need a doctor, it is the prostitutes, the punks, the losers, the s-tfaced, the drunkards, the losers, and the other lowlifes who really need me"

"When someone really really pisses you off, do not plan bad things against them. Be nice to them, and it will be like tipping a full ashtray over their head."

And rather than taking offense at the tone, how about we take time to deal with Real Christ rather than this pathetic cardboard cutout we so often mistake him for.

[Ish Engle]

Excremental was good, but I thought exhibitionial might also work, since so many of the words deal with bringing "bedroom" subjects into the open...

[andrew]

[updated response] Joe - i had to add something to this response. I agree with you. The edge of the challenge of Christ is dulled by mediocrity. Jesus offensiveness happened on many levels. Thanks for your excellent comment.

[original] i hear you Joe but at the same time i dont think we should confuse the offence of the cross with offence caused by certain words that trigger endorphins of negative reactions.

having said that, it must be said that Jesus' ministry and words were offensive, but in that first way - not the second.

also, Jesus was offensive to the Jews because of what he DID NOT SAY as well as what he said.

Example from Luke 4 where Jesus does NOT keep reading from Isaiah - the part about judgment of the Gentiles - but instead talks about the inclusion of the Gentiles in God's plan - HIGHLY OFFENSIVE -
and finds himself in deep . . ahhh . . water . . and given a tour of the Nazarene cliff faces.

Jesus' life and actions were offensive, reminding me of the quote from someone that goes . .

"Jesus was killed because of how he ate"

[andrew]

ish - good point.

hey ish - i saw you and your dad are involved in the REAL Summer of Love ministry this summer in SF. Come back and tell us about it if you can.

[jason_73]

Yeah when we were in Mexico for 4 years, we would cringe as the visiting work groups would use the word "stupid" in every other sentence during there testimony time. Also, a few months ago didn't Tiger Woods get in all sorts of trouble for referring to himself as a "spaz" while playing in the Biritsh Open? Another word that I would have no idea was offensive if I were in England...

[Nicholas]

In the south we say "Let Go and Let God". . . Amen?

[Tim the Enchanter]

A friend of mine who left the church some years ago for a long period of time, said to me one day "you have to realise that almost NOBODY out there is talking about you (the church) or even considering some of the issues that you seem to feel are SO important".

Storm.... teacup....

[Ish Engle]

Andrew,

I wish I was involved in the REAL summer of love, it's website looks great and the program sounds wonderful. However, I'm not sure if I'm even related to Jesse Engle :-).

Does that excommunicate me from these discussions? ;-)

[Ryan]

I don't like "excremental" or "exhibitionary".

How 'bout "exciting"?

:-)~

P.S. It makes me sick when people care more about the words you use than what you're actually saying.

[andrew]

thanks ryan.

ish - sorry . .. i thought you were Lou Engle's son. my mistake. and yes, you are still welcome to comment here.

[Matt]

Although it's a little uncreative, how about using plain old "expletive" for point 2?